I Hate You
by Morning Rose
Summary: It's a common fact Caddicarus and Brutalmoose aren't really fond of each other. But what happens when Caddy has to travel to Moosey's home for a collaboration? Nothing good, I'll tell you. This is a CaddiMoose fic, so if you don't like yaoi you're looking at the wrong story. Rated M for a reason.


_AN: I can't believe I wrote this. I think this is the first CaddiMoose fic, or I simply didn't look hard enough. Still, I love this pairing, and am sad that there aren't many (if any) fics about it._

 _Caddy, Moosey, if you're reading this, I'm sorry._

 _Here's a fair warning: this fic contains a male X male relationship, and a graphic lemon. If you don't like that sort of thing, I'd suggest you go back to the search page and find something more suitable to you._

 _If you think it's bad, I apologise. It's my first time writing this kind of thing, and I myself feel awkward about it, but hey, it's always hard to write something for the first time, isn't it?_

 _And now, the story. Enjoy, I guess._

 **I Hate You**

Ian couldn't stand him. In fact, he hated him. His whole, "Ooh, I'm so funny with my 'Slaughter or Salvage' reviews and my hilarious jokes", and that British accent that made him sound like a smartass. He just couldn't stand him, and he even tried to prove it by making him play that hideous abomination of a game called Zoo Race. But he striked back, oh yes he did, with that weird Crysis City game that made Ian want to smash his computer monitor by throwing it into a wall or, more preferably, James' face. It meant war, and Ian wouldn't stop until he proved to both Caddy and their fans that he was better than him. Because, once again, it was a well known fact how big of a rivalry existed between Brutalmoose and Caddicarus.

And now Caddicarus was coming to visit him.

Why? Well, the answer to that was beyond him. Fans requested more collabs between the two youtubers, and after a long time of ignoring their pleas, they finally gave in to their audience's wishes.

They tried the old formula, each one of them recorded a clip with their thoughts about the game they were reviewing, but something was missing. Sure, the jokes were there and they were pretty good ones too, the jokes about their rivalry were present as well, the game itself was so horrifyingly bad that it was hilarious, and overall it seemed like it was going to be a great video, but... Something was missing. They both knew the video lacked something, but they couldn't quite point a finger at what it was.

"Well, I did always want to visit the States", Caddy said.

"So you think that if both of us reviewed at my place, it would make the review better?", Ian raised an eyebrow.

"Possibly", Caddy said, "Besides, we could act out a fight or something between the two of us. Like, we start arguing near the end of the review, and we decide to solve it with guns and explosions and crap like that."

"That's... Actually a good idea", Ian nodded, "See, I knew you'll become useful one day", he smirked while looking at Caddy's face in the Skype window.

"Oh, shut up", Caddy glared at him, "Anyway, see you in a couple of days then."

"Right", Ian smirked, "Bye", and with that, he ended the video call.

That was two days ago.

Moosey looked around the airport, waiting for the moment he was going to spot the Brit's familiar face. He heard his plane's landing being announced at least ten minutes ago, but Caddy just wasn't showing up anywhere.

"If he played a joke on me, I'm going to catch a plane to the UK and personally decide whether HE gets to be slaughtered or salvaged", he grumbled impatiently, "And at this very moment I'm favouring the former", he added while tapping his foot.

"So you'd like to slaughter me?", a voice with a heavy british accent said from behind, "Should I be worried while staying here? Or should I simply find a hotel for my own safety's sake?"

Ian turned around and faced the man behind him, "Where did you come from?"

"I was in the crowd looking for you, and I noticed you were mumbling to yourself like a lunatic", Caddy grinned, "Thought I'd hear what's going on in your head that's so interesting to make you space out like that", he chuckled.

Ian only glared at him, "Well good thing you're here, I was already planning where to hide your body in case you decided to screw me over", he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Ian", Caddy said flatly, "Just because you're not really my most favourite person in the world, does not mean I really have to be a douchebag to you 24/7", he patted Ian's back, "Besides, I'll have plenty of time for that now that I'm staying with you", he grinned.

Ian rolled his eyes, "Joy", he said sarcastically, "Let's go now, I'm starving."

Caddy only then realised how exhausted he was, "Yeah, and I could really use a nap", he yawned, "Jet lag really does suck."

Ian chuckled as they entered his car, "I can imagine."

The car ride was silent. Ian kept his eyes on the road, not really sure if he should start a conversation or not. When he finally glanced to his right, he noticed that a conversation wouldn't be necessary after all. Caddy was asleep, his head resting against the window, with an adorable sleeping face.

Ian mentally slapped himself, "Really, Ian? Adorable? Stop being weird and keep driving", he scolded himself in his head.

But he couldn't stop himself from looking again. He looked so peaceful, and only looking at him was somehow relaxing.

"No, Ian. You're supposed to hate this guy. Remember Crysis City. He made you play that", he thought.

He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. Why was it so hard to stay the way he felt towards him before today? Why does he find him likeable all of a sudden?

"You're just tired, Ian. A good sleep will fix that", he mentally reassured himself, "Besides, Caddy is always a bit less obnoxious when he has his mouth shut. The moment he wakes up, you'll wish he was asleep again", he smiled to himself. Yes, everything was going to be fine.

Just fine.

A couple of hours later, Ian was in his bed. Caddy was in the guest room, already unpacked and in a deep sleep. Ian, however, was not. No matter how many times he adjusted himself to feel comfortable in his bed, he couldn't fall asleep, and it was pissing him off. He checked his phone, it was 2 AM. Lying on his back, he took the pillow from under his head and covered his face with it.

"Come on, sleep goddamn it!", he grumbled into his pillow and decided that if he kept the pillow on his face he'd probably fall asleep from the lack of oxygen, "Yeah, brilliant plan, Moosey. You're a genius", he thought sarcastically and removed the pillow from his face, letting it fall to the floor.

Picking up his phone again, he decided to check in on Twitter. He still hadn't told his fans that Caddicarus would be visiting him, and as far as he remembered, Caddy hadn't either.

"Guess who's come over for a collab! Hopefully we won't start a war between the USA and the UK. Caddicarus #doofus"

Well this was going to be interesting. He checked the time again, it was 3 AM. He groaned, James was the one who was supposed to have trouble sleeping, not him! As far as he knew, it was already almost noon over there in Britainland. Suddenly his phone vibrated.

"Caddicarus replied to your tweet", he read silently, and tapped the notification.

" Brutalmoose #doofus, eh? Well at least you admitted that you really are one. That's the first step to recovery."

Ian snorted and rolled his eyes. He started typing a message to Caddy, despite the fact that he was in the room down the hallway, but before he hit 'send', he got a message from Caddy himself.

"Having trouble sleeping, eh?"

Ian snorted, was that an understatement. He quickly typed the reply, "Yeah, couldn't sleep because of your loud snoring", smirking to himself. About a minute later, Caddy replied.

"Oh haha. At least I got some sleep unlike some people."

He had a point there, Ian hated to admit.

"Oh go drown yourself in Thames or something", was his reply. He was too tired to think of anything clever at the moment.

"Wow, 'or something', gee aren't we original today", of course, Caddy wouldn't leave him alone until his remark was the last one.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Ian rolled his eyes. How mature. He typed, "I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"This collab will be disastrous", Ian smirked.

"Which is why I'm looking forward to it."

Ian did, too. But he decided not to tell James about that. Not really feeling like replying, he let his phone slide out of his hand and fall onto his matress right next to his waist. He closed his eyes in one more attempt to catch at least some sleep, and the moment he closed them he felt like he was floating in the air. He sighed deeply, slowly falling asleep. A minute later, he was barely awake and was a couple of seconds away from falling asleep for real. That's when his phone vibrated again, startling him and making him snap out of his peaceful half-conscious state. He groaned as he went to see who messaged him.

"You still awake?"

Ian sighed in frustration, "Almost fell asleep, but now I'm awake again, thanks to you."

A minute later, Caddy replied, "You're welcome."

Ian growled silently, "I hate you."

"Same."

"Fuck you."

James didn't reply for the next couple of minutes, and Ian felt his eyelids getting heavier. It was so quiet, so peaceful, so... His phone vibrated again.

Ian groaned and went to read the message.

"Should I come over then?"

Ian had to shake his head a bit to make sure he read that right. He cleared his throat as he began to type, "Huh?", was the best reply he could think of.

That's when his phone vibrated again, this time with a phone call.

He read the caller's ID. "James", he whispered softly. Not knowing what to expect, he accepted the call.

"I asked, should I come over?", Caddy's voice was heard from the other side, but it wasn't Caddy's usual, cheerful voice. This one was silent, like a whisper, and deeper than usual. It had a hint of an emotion Ian couldn't quite recognise.

"Uh...", Ian cleared his throat, a bit surprised at Caddy's voice, "W-why?", he asked, mentally cursing himself for stuttering.

A deep chuckle was heard from the other side, "... Because."

Ian shifted in his bed a bit, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He didn't know what to say. Luckily, or unluckily in Ian's case, Caddy continued.

"How about a collab?", he asked in the same tone of voice.

"A-a collab? At this hour?", Ian was taken by surprise. He also felt relief, it seemed Caddy was just messing with him. With that voice. And suggestiveness. He sighed, "I thought we'd decided to record in the afernoon."

Caddy chuckled again, "No, Ian."

"Huh?", Ian frowned, slightly creeped out. This all reminded him of a horror movie he'd once seen.

"I wasn't thinking of that collab."

"W-what?", Ian gulped, "You thought about another game we could do?", he asked. If this was a prank, he wouldn't let Caddy win.

Another chuckle, "Maybe", a sound of bed covers rustling was heard, like he was getting out of his bed, "If you really prefer to call it a game..."

Ian couldn't think of a reply, which encouraged Caddy to keep talking.

"Do you want to play a game with me then, Ian?", his voice got even deeper.

Ian sighed heavily, he had a feeling the room temperature rised a bit, and he wasn't really happy about the situation down south, either.

He didn't know how to reply, "U-uh...", was all his brain could produce at his current state.

"Hm?", a questioning hum was all from Caddy this time.

' _Calm down, Ian. It must be a prank. Just play along for now'_. He sighed, "I-I... I do", he managed to say, once again mentally cursing himself for stuttering.

"Should I come over, then?", Caddy repeated the question.

"Uh...", Ian cleared his throat, "S-sure."

The moment he said it, he heard Caddy hang up the call. Not ten seconds later, he heard knocking at his bedroom door.

"It's just a prank, it's just a prank, it's just a prank...", he kept repeating to himself in his head as he went to open the door.

That's when it all went downhill.

The moment Ian turned the doorknob, he felt the door being pushed from outside, and he had to quickly move away in order to avoid being hit by the door being swung open.

"Caddy? What are you...", Ian tried to ask, but was cut off by the other man pushing him back into the room, and in a second Ian found himself backed against the wall, the other man standing really close to him.

"Hi, Ian...", the other whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"What are you...", he tried again, but Caddy put a finger to his lips.

"Shut up", he said sternly.

"H-huh?", Ian was beyond confused by his rival's behaviour.

"Don't talk. I never could stand your voice, after all", Caddy whispered and started to playfully nibble on Ian's ear. Ian tried to move away from the touch, but Caddy pinned him with one hand, "Don't move."

"Caddy, I don't think-", Ian stuttered as he tried to slip out from under his arm.

With one arm Caddy grabbed him and pinned him against a wall with a strong grip, "I said, don't move", he growled and lightly bit Ian's ear.

If one day someone decided to ask Ian about his top ten weirdest moments in his life, this would without a doubt be on the first place.

"What's going on?", Ian managed to ask, while at the same time trying to ignore Caddy's hand slowly rubbing his chest.

Caddy pressed his body closer to Ian's, completely pinning him against the wall. He moved one of his legs between Ian's, and experimentally ground their hips together. Ian felt a bolt of pleasure from this action and had to hold his breath in order to stop himself from gasping. He could feel himself getting hard, and it was becoming hard to think straight as well.

"We're playing, of course", Caddy simply answered, and started kissing Ian down his neck, once again causing the youtuber to hold back a moan that was building up in his throat.

"O-okay...", Ian tried his best to contain his reactions, but each passing second made it harder to do so, "B-but... W-why?"

Caddy only chuckled as a response, and started kissing him along his jaw, stopping when he reached his lips. He then pulled away with a smirk, and looked at Ian, who was left longing for more of his touches, breathing heavily and his face flushed, his eyes firmly shut. His look trailed downwards, and he let out a satisfied chuckle when he saw that his friend was clearly enjoying the treatment, noticing the bulge in the man's sweatpants.

"Let's just say this amuses me", Caddy said with a smirk.

Ian frowned, slowly opening his eyes, "W-what?", he asked, confused.

Caddy's smirk grew into a grin, "It's simple", he whispered into Ian's ear as he got a bit closer to him again, "Leaving you wanting like this... Sexually frustrated... It's like torturing you...", he licked his earlobe, "... In a hottest way possible."

Ian chuckled, "Fuck you, man."

Caddy clicked his tongue disapprovingly, "So impatient", he said as he proceeded to plant kisses down Ian's neck again.

Ian snorted at the remark, "Who are you to call me impatient?", he raised his eyebrow, "You practically almost broke my door when entering my bedroom."

"Huh. Shut up", Caddy said and bit Ian's neck, starting to suckle on the spot.

"If you're trying to leave a mark on my neck, I'll brutally murder you in your sleep", Ian groaned while at the same time trying to hide another moan, "Pun intended."

Caddy chuckled at the remark, and licked the spot he bit a minute ago, "Too late for that", he kissed along his jaw once again, one of his hands slowly trailing down Ian's back.

Ian groaned, "I fucking hate you, man", which made Caddy stop every movement.

Caddy's voice got deeper again, "You what?", he whispered into Ian's ear, the tone of his voice and his hot breath making Ian shudder.

"I... Hate you", Ian repeated.

"How much?", Caddy asked in the same tone, only moving his hand down Ian's chest, painfully slow.

"With all of my existence", Ian replied, shuddering as he felt Caddy's hand slowly trailing down his abdomen.

"Yeah? Then hate me harder", Caddy let out a quiet moan as he pressed himself against Ian once more, grinding their hips a little, earning a quiet moan from his friend as well.

"W-what?", Ian demanded, his aroused state making it hard to comprehend what Caddy exactly meant by that.

"Harder", Caddy hissed as he ground their hips together even harder, completely turned on by the tension between them.

"Oh God yes", Ian mumbled in pleasure, arching his back and bucking his hips, trying to get more friction between them, "I hate you so fucking much, Caddy."

"Yes...", Caddy groaned while his hand slid further down the other man's abdomen, and rested it over his arousal, earning a moan from Ian.

"Somehow...", Ian said between gasps, "I'm not convinced you really do hate me as well..."

"I do hate you", Caddy informed him, rubbing his hand over Ian's length.

Ian bucked his hips into the touch and moaned, "Ah... Prove it", the moan making him blush even more than he already was.

Caddy chuckled darkly, "Oh yes, I will", his hand slowly sliding towards the rim of Ian's sweatpants, "I'm going to fuck you so hard, Ian, you won't be able to breath", his hand slid into Ian's pants and into his boxers, fingers trailing along Ian's shaft so painfully slow, it was driving Ian mad.

"Oh yes, fuck me like you hate me", Ian shut his eyes firmly and moaned while bucking his hips, hoping Caddy would take the hint and speed it up a little.

Caddy did take the hint, but instead of speeding up he decided to go even slower to torture Ian a bit more, "Oh believe me, Moosey, I will. With greatest pleasure", he smirked as he watched Ian's face expressions, how he reacted to his touches, the pure sight of him truly intoxicating, "And I won't stop until I wear you off so much you'll fall unconscious", he continued as his fingers reached the tip of Ian's member, and he started to slowly rub the tip with his thumb, earning another moan from Ian, "Yes Ian, tonight... You belong to me", he started slowly moving his hand up and down Ian's shaft, watching as the man before him started breaking down into a heap of moaning mess, begging him to go faster. But Caddy smirked, enjoying the way his rival grew more and more impatient and dependent of his touches. Experimentally, he went faster for a couple of seconds, earning an approving groan from his rival, only to slow down again.

"Damn it, James", Ian growled, and grabbed James' shirt, pulling him closer and starting to lightly bite his neck.

Caddy hissed at the action, but despite the pleasure he felt, he pushed Ian back, knocking the breath out of him.

"I said. Don't. Fucking. Move", he almost whispered as Ian gasped to regain his breath, which was hard to do considering the fact that Caddy quickened his strokes again.

"Ah, shit!", Ian closed his eyes as he felt himself getting close to his release, "Don't stop", he gasped, his nails almost digging into the wall behind him.

But much to Ian's displeasure, Caddy stopped, and pulled his hand out of Ian's pants.

"Now, why would I listen to you, Moosey?", Caddy chuckled as he saw Ian's protesting face expression.

Ian only grinned and pulled the other man in for a kiss, taking him by surprise. After a couple seconds, he felt the other kissing back. He lightly bit James' bottom lip, causing him to gasp, and took the opportunity to unleash a full attack on his mouth, earning a moan from the man in front of him.

Caddy broke the kiss, grabbed Ian's wrist and dragged him across the room, forcefully pushing him onto the bed, eyes fixed on him like a predator.

In a second he was on top of Ian, kissing and biting his neck and collarbone. Their hips kept grinding together, trying to find a rhythm, but both were so consumed in pleasure and lust they found it hard to control their bodies.

Caddy pulled off his shirt, which encouraged Ian to do the same. A second later, their bodies pressed closer, and Ian couldn't help but notice how good Caddy's body felt against him.

Caddy's hands clumsily started pulling Ian's pants down, followed by his own, his hands shaking from lust as he swore with impatience.

"I want you, Moosey", Caddy growled with need, his breath hot against Ian's ear, "I fucking need you. I want to hear you scream my name..."

Ian's hips jerked sharply against Caddy. Caddy's dominant behaviour was driving him crazy. All he knew was that at this pace, Caddy's swearing and frustration alone would send him over the edge before anything even happened.

Ian's hand stroked Caddy's hard cock and slowly smeared his pre-cum over the tip with his thumb, the other man shuddering at his touch and loudly groaning into Ian's neck.

A moment later, Ian heard Caddy chuckle, and felt him trailing kisses down his chest, then abdomen, finally reaching his already hard member. He couldn't help but look at Caddy with a half-lidded look, as the other man returned him a seductive glance with a hint of mischief.

He watched as Caddy slowly licked his cock to the tip, teasing him.

"Fuck, James", Ian gasped at the feeling, "Stop teasing already."

"Only because I'm getting impatient as well", Caddy responded as he started sucking on the sensitive tip of Ian's member, drawing a loud moan from him. Slowly, he took more of him into his mouth and started bobbing his head, his tongue circling around Ian's cock as he sucked him off. Ian tried to grab Caddy's head, but the other took his hands and pressed them back on the bed, causing him to let out a soft whine. Caddy sucked harder, and he felt Ian's cock start pulsating, and he knew the other was close to his release. He took his member out of his mouth, earning another whine from the other.

He then moved back up until his face was right above Ian's.

"I'm not letting you go that easily, Ian", Caddy chuckled, "No, I like seeing you so desperate."

The man under him gave him a glare, "You're a douche, you know that?", his breathing still uneven after almost reaching his limit.

"Only to you, Moosey", Caddy grinned, causing the other to roll his eyes at him.

"Fuck you, James."

"Fuck you? I will, gladly", Caddy replied smugly and put two fingers to Ian's lips, "Lick", he ordered, and the other did so.

Ian shivered as he felt the other's finger tracing his entrance, and he had to stop himself from moaning by biting his lip when he felt Caddy's fingers slipping inside him one by one, stretching him. Not long after, Caddy positioned himself between Ian's legs, and slowly began entering him.

Ian whimpered with discomfort at the new feeling, consuming him like fire. Caddy was, for once, nice, and gave him a moment to get used to the feeling. A minute later, Ian gave a small nod, and Caddy slowly started thrusting into him. Ian gasped in painful pleasure as Caddy began to move himself in and out of his body, slowly pounding into him. Caddy groaned at the feeling of Ian's hot insides constricting his shaft, the slick walls rubbing against his hard member. He then managed to find that special spot that made Ian see the stars.

"Oh fuck JAMES AHH!", Ian cried as waves of unimaginable pleasure washed over him with each thrust, as Caddy continued to aim for the spot with each move of his hips.

Ian still couldn't quite believe what was happening. As far as he remembered, the two always fought and kept saying they hate each other. Sure, not exactly "hate" as you'd hate someone who hurt you, but more like the "frienemy" rival hate. Still, the last thing he thought was that it would all escalate to a hate fuck, or whatever they were doing at that moment.

But Ian had to admit, it felt so fucking good.

"Ha...", Ian tried to whisper, but barely found the breath to do so, "Ha-harder...", he begged.

James was glad to oblige, the melody of Ian's moans filling his ears. He felt extremely pleased with the fact that he was the cause of those pleasurable moans, and he even felt slightly smug about it. He could already feel himself getting closer to his release. Still, he thrusted faster and harder, enjoying the electrifying pleasure rocketing through his veins, his movements making Ian groan in pleasure.

"Say my name Ian... Let everyone know who you belong to tonight...", James whispered in Ian's ear, his hot breath causing the latter to lightly gasp.

"Mmmhh... James...", Ian whispered between gasps.

"Louder, Moosey", the other demanded, not slowing down a bit.

"James...", Ian said a bit louder.

"Louder."

"James!", Ian shouted loudly, followed by a loud moan.

"Aah! Fuck!", James panted, feeling himself on the verge of coming. He grabbed Ian's member and started pumping him in rhythm with his own thrusts.

"Ja-James... I'm going to...", Ian gasped, feeling himself getting close as well. Finally, his body gave in. "AAAAH FUCK!", he screamed as he came between them, tsunami of pleasure hitting him and leaving him unaware of his own surroundings. Nothing else mattered, only this moment he shared with James.

James followed soon after, coming hard inside Ian, his body spasming with pleasure. Giving a couple more small thrusts, he collapsed on top of Ian, who was shivering from his own orgasm. They both layed there in bliss, slowly coming down from their highs, and the only thig that could be heard were shallow breaths and gasps. After a few moments, James pulled out of Ian and layed beside him, still panting in exhaustion.

They layed in silence for a couple of minutes, until Ian decided to break the silence.

"Holy shit...", Ian let out a shaky laugh.

"Heh... Told you...", James laughed weakly, and looked over to Ian, smiling lightly at him.

They looked at each other for a couple more minutes, the silence in the room relaxing them both.

"We should do collabs more often", James grinned, earning a light laugh from Ian.

"Indeed."

And with that, they drifted off to sleep.


End file.
